Gratitude Is Golden

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all others.” Marcus Tullius Cicero

I had a chance to experience gratitude and joy this weekend when I received a surprise visit from my youngest son who lives in Washington D.C. Of course I have a reason to be grateful everyday because I get to see my oldest son and his girlfriend. Sometimes we forget to be grateful for what is right in front of us. We are so busy looking at what we are missing we forget to be grateful for what we have. I live in Minnesota where it is often bitter cold and snow is everywhere. The bad weather blinds me from the joy, and I forget to be grateful for the beauty of the snow, to enjoy the snow falling and not just look forward to spring.

According to Psychology Today, people who practice gratitude are 25% happier, they are more optimistic and they feel like they have a brighter future. Practicing gratitude can help us feel a greater satisfaction with our lives. In 2017 Wong and Brown did a study on gratitude. They divided the participants into three groups:

Group one wrote a gratitude letter to another person every week for three weeks.

Group two wrote about their thoughts and feelings about negative experiences.

Group three didn’t write anything.

All three groups received counseling services. Group one reported “significantly better mental health four and 12 weeks” after the intervention ended, more so than groups two or three. Practicing gratitude can disconnect us from toxic negative emotions and the ruminations that often accompany them. In addition, practicing gratitude trains the brain to look for things to be grateful for.

Don't Compare Yourself To Others

“Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute you spend wasting yours.”

It’s time for the Superbowl again. My husband is a HUGE Denver Bronco fan! I mean huge. If he had to choose between the Denver Broncos and me I’m not sure he would choose me. :-)

I’ve been pulled into this vortex and must admit that I, too, am now a Denver Bronco fan, and I really enjoy the football season. Although the Denver Broncos didn’t make it to the playoffs this year, it will still be fun to see who will win the Superbow!.

NFL players are valued in our society. They are valued for their strength and athletic prowess. These are two things I do not have as a chronic pain survivor. Because of this, there are times when I don’t feel valued. I forget to be grateful for and notice all the wonderful qualities that I do have, qualities that are unaffected by my physical health. When we compare ourselves to others we often forget to notice and be grateful for what we have been given.

Joy

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to chose joy and keep chosing it everyday." Henri J.M. Nouwen

What a wonderful holiday season! Both boys were home for ten days. My husband had time off. We had snow and lights outside and a warm fireplace inside. We ate so much wonderful food, including many, many, many Christmas cookies. We flew over the United States at the Mall of America on Fly Over America. We played games, watched The Witcher, read The Witcher, made candles and just felt the love of family and the joy of the season. I live in a winter wonderland.

How do we find joy everyday? How do we live each day like it is a Christmas wonderland? Of course, negativity doesn’t help. Negative emotions, like fear, anxiety, anger, and bitterness create a fight-or-flight response in the brain. Unfortunately, it is the default state that we live in. When we live with a predominance of negativity it is difficult to see things clearly or from a different perspective. It is very difficult to feel or live with joy.

One great way to stop the fight-or-flight response is to be present in the moment, to stop and notice that you are o.k. In this moment. Use your five senses to connect to the moment. This will soothe the brain so it stops sounding the alarm. Sometimes when negative thoughts persist, use visualization to predict the best possible outcome in your situation. Actively anticipating good outcomes from stressful situations can assist with experiencing joy.

Our brains were built for survival, and that meant they were built with a negativity bias. We have to actively override this bias and look for joy. Look at the bigger picture. If you are feeling negatively stop and breathe. Use your five senses and find something that makes you feel joyful. Joy can make us feel more productive, energized and creative. It is our choice. We need to wake up in the morning with the intention to choose joy.

I live in a winter wonderland. When I’m walking on my treadmill and I watch Zorro zoom through the backyard in the snow around our skimpy Charlie Brown Christmas tree my heart soars and there it is again - joy!