What Are Your Core Values?

“Your core values are your deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul.” John C. Maxwell

We all know that our path through life will be filled with adversity, that we will get knocked down. How do we get back up? Our ability to get back up and thrive depends a lot on our resilience. How we improve our brain’s neuroplasticity - our ability to rewire - when presented new information.

One of the ways we can grow our resilience is to realize what our core values are and to live by them. My sons have always been interested in the armed forces and intelligence agencies. My oldest son has recently become interested in the FBI. The FBI has the motto fidelity, bravery and integrity; the marine corps the motto “Semper Fidelis”, always faithful, always forward. For the Seals the core value is, honor, courage and commitment. Wouldn’t it be helpful if we had our own core value or motto that we stuck with through thick and thin?

Core values can give you courage, they can become who you are. When put to the test it is the core values that can give us strength. What are your core values? How are they brought to life through your actions? Core values can work as a boat, able to carry you through rough waters. My own core values: I’m faithful, loving, brave, compassionate.

Our core values can help us create the most good in the world and help us to be the most powerful in responding to adversity.

You Can Be Brave!

“Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle in your skin. Sometimes a shadow wins. I wonder what would happen if you say what you want to say and let the words fall out. I want to see you be brave.” Sara Bareillis

We’ve all been there. We’ve all lived in the shadows, wanting to say what needed to be said, wishing we could live in the sun. We’ve all held our tongues not saying the truth, but it often does us no good. I WANT TO SEE YOU BE BRAVE. Say what you want to say, walk into the light.

Sometimes resiliency takes bravery in the form of speaking and living our truth. When we live our truth, there is a freedom that builds our resiliency. I’ve had times in my life when I tried to be a person someone else wanted me to be. During those times I was never happy. My soul was never able to soar. If we want to soar, to glide like an eagle, we must be ourselves - and sometimes say difficult things, even when it means facing people who will disagree with us. It takes true bravery.

Be Thankful For What You Have

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

I love the holiday season. I love Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I look forward to them all. I love the giving of treats & presents, spending time with family, and enjoying good food. Last year I felt frustrated during each of these holidays; each was marred by my pain. I remember thinking maybe next year my pain will be gone in a storybook way. Well, it’s a year later, and my pain isn’t gone. Not only was my pain still there, but the entire household suffered from a cold and my son had a migraine that wouldn’t go away. But our lack of physical health didn’t stop us from having a great Thanksgiving. It was just wonderful to be together, talking, playing games, laughing, and even visiting the science museum and Hennepin’s train museum.

Often we focus on the glaring thing we wish was better in our lives, rather than turning the lens on all we have to be grateful for. I do face another holiday season of great physical challenge. It’s important that my physical challenge does not become my focus, that I don’t lose sight of what I have to be grateful for. Focusing on that which we are grateful for helps broaden our lives and makes our world much larger. Bitterness and disappointment can make lives seem pinpoint small. Both my boys are going to be home this holiday season and for that I am grateful - and my world expands. My happiness grows.

What we focus on grows stronger. According to livescience.com, our neurons continue to grow and change even as we age. They change based on our focus. If we want more gratitude we should focus on gratitude. If we want more kindness in our life we should focus on kindness.

I’m focusing on gratitude. I find gratitude in my challenges, keep a gratitude journal, practice mindfulness, spend time with loved ones, express gratitude and show respect to others.

This Thanksgiving season I’ve enjoyed expressing gratitude to those I care about in small ways and I feel lucky to be spending the holiday with loved ones. I’m mindful of my blessings!