You Are As Happy As You Want To Be

"Most folks are as happy as they make up there minds to be." Abraham Lincoln

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I wake up every morning in incredible pain. Everyday, every morning. I have to start the day by making a choice. How do I want to see this day? I emerge from my bedroom and I'm swarmed by dogs waiting impatiently for attention and breakfast. I can view this as a nuisance or a joy. I do much better when I see past my pain and see the joy, when I look out the window and see the beautiful day, when I remind myself this day will not be filled entirely with pain, just moments of it.

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The idea of finding moments of happiness and joy is not choosing to be positive. Rather, it is choosing to focus on that which will make our life what it ultimately is. Every little time I decide to focus on despair it makes the pain stronger, it gives it more power. Every time I focus on joy it makes it stronger, granting it more power. If I want a life of happiness, I choose to focus on things in my life that will yield happiness, even if they are small. Everything can add up to great happiness and joy!

What You Focus On Becomes Your Reality

“What you think you become. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you create.” Buddha

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I’ve had a difficult couple of weeks to put it mildly. The pain was terrible, the nausea was terrible, my inability to think was overwhelming and just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore I woke up the next day and realized that I could and I would because I had another day of it. I searched for my resilience but it seemed lost in a black hole, a region of space time exhibiting gravitational acceleration so strong that nothing can escape from it. All seemed lost.

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I did what I do when all seems lost to me; I reached for a book and I read. I wanted to be lost in someone else’s reality, but I couldn’t read because of the pain, so I took an idea from my son and listened to the book. I was prepared to get lost, to find some healing, instead I found myself getting annoyed. It was a memoir, the person writing, was a person of privilege, who lost all her privilege but still had more than most. She complained throughout until I couldn’t take it any more. Finally, I said to myself, “You don’t have to listen to her. Just turn the book off already.”

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It made me think though, The only thing I had done the last few weeks was complain. It made me wonder if my husband wanted to turn me off. My focus had been completely on what I lost, just like the girl in the book. I forgot to look at what I still had. I forgot to be grateful for everything I was still able to enjoy and love. Maybe I wasn’t getting what I wanted but that didn’t mean I had nothing. The gratitude I felt enabled me to see past the black hole, it enabled me to see my lost resiliency skills. It helped me move forward to healing.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/d7533d_74ab0eb083a642a89c1d80f073ae5bda/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

Don't Add Worry To Your Troubles

“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Charles Swindoll

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Are things not trouble enough in themselves without adding worry to them? I found out a few days ago that my dad was flown flight for life to a city hospital. My mom is not in good health right now. When I heard the news I felt like a freight train was coming at me. I wanted to be there to help but I’m not able to because of my own health. My younger sister and brother are there so I know they have help. Still, the worry set in. What if something happened to my dad?

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My dad is amazing. Growing up I always knew he accepted me for who I was. He calls me his favorite middle girl. He spent time with me working on projects when I was young. He encouraged me to go to college and law school. He helped me move to Minnesota in his white Toyota truck. I love him so much, my heart was aching. I felt like I was a walking raw nerve, and my worry was going to make me more ill. I knew I had to change my own outcome. I had a choice about how I responded to this situation.

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The facts are that my parents are both in problematic medical situations. The outcome is unknown and that is causing me worry. My inability to do anything just increases the worry. I told myself worry is not going to change the outcome. Thinking about it is not going to change the outcome. I tried to push it out of my mind. I focused instead on what was present, in front of me, my Grandkitty, Arthas, making a big run through the house, Shiloh insisting she would eat nothing but cat food, hearing about my son’s adventure. It worked, I felt the tension easing. I let the worry go. Today, a few days later I talked to both my parents and things are looking good! They aren’t out of the woods completely, yet, but at least they aren’t in the red zone. I’m glad I was able to adjust my focus and reduce my worry and was helped tremendously!

Me and my dad