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3 Secrets of Resilient People

“From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadow shall spring.” J.R.R. Tolkein





Today was lovely and wonderful. Fall weather finally moved in after a loooong hot summer. I’m not going to sugar coat it - since March, I feel like I’ve been walking through quicksand. I’ve had trouble seeing my resiliency skills through the pandemic cloud. I’ve been listening to some TED talks to help me regain my resiliency and enable me to feel like I’m walking on solid ground. I found one woman especially inspiring, Lucy Hone. She was doing resiliency training for the army when her world shifted and she had to reach out for some of those resiliency skills herself; her teenage daughter was killed in an automobile accident. In processing her grief and finding a way out, she came up with three secrets of resilient people. I think they are fantastic! Her three secrets of resilient people are:

  1. They realize that suffering is part of human existence.

  2. Resilient people focus on the things they can control and accept the things they can’t.

  3. They ask themselves, “Is what I am doing going to help or hurt me?”

Lucy said “she had to decide not to lose what she had, to what she lost.” This sentence spoke to me. I didn’t want to lose what I currently have because I am focused on what I have already lost.

I decided to focus my attention on Lucy’s three secrets. I looked around, and I saw a cat dashing through the house in joy, and a huge dog sitting in the cat’s bed looking out the window. I felt the sun coming through the porch windows, it’s warmth on my skin. I heard the wind rustling. I watched the kids play outside. There was so much to savor. I had been focusing too much on the things I lost to my pain and to the pandemic.

Focusing only on the negative things in our lives will crush us. We must lift our heads with courage and bravery, one step at a time, determined not to lose what we have to what we’ve lost. Remembering what it feels like to be loved, alive and beautiful.


“Life tried to crush her but only succeeded in creating a diamond.” John Green


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