Once we think about something as a loss it is harder to switch and think of it in the positive. We have a bias to the negative, and we can get stuck in the negative when something negative happens. It takes work to see the positive. When I'm having a bad pain flare it is even harder to see the positive. The only way to find my way to the positive is to look for the positive, to embrace the positive, to submerge myself in the positive.
Even when things seem really bad there is always something positive that can be found. Last night I was up most of the night in terrible pain. I woke up thinking the whole day was going to be terrible. It wasn't just because of pain, I felt terrible, I felt submerged in the negative. The pain always seems much worse worse in the middle of the night. Perhaps it's because I feel so alone in the middle of the night in my struggle with pain. When I wake up the next day I feel like I have been put through the wringer. How can I start a new day after a miserable night?
At times like these it is more important than ever to be aware of your negativity bias, because it is easy to get submerged in your pain, mired in it, feeling like you can't escape. The way out is to focus on the positive. There is always positive, even if it is small positive. Small things will add up! On this day I was able to focus on the love of my dogs. And out of the blue my husband said he had twenty extra minutes before work. He asked if I would like to lie down and rest with him to help me feel better. And it helped!
Once I am able to be aware of positives, I start to notice others, like the birds singing, the beautiful day, the taste of my delicious breakfast, etc... The positive will multiply and can crush that negative to dust. This makes it much easier to survive the pain.
It's too simple to believe that positive thinking, alone, will solve all your woes, but living in the moment and being aware of the positives is an important component of resiliency.
